The frustration of beginning has simmered down to acceptance and peace. I feel empowered knowing that I’m almost there. Although, there are dilemmas I still go through every day, for example:
The verb isn’t strong enough; an adjective isn’t descriptive enough; I used the word “however” too many (3) times; I am torn between the word “untouchable” v. “invincible.” The two words have similar meanings and connotations, but I’ve used the word “untouchable” in that context for so long that to suddenly switch it to “invincible” seems unthinkable. But at least these comments are tweaks to minor clauses of the query rather than overarching problems.
I know saying I’m “almost there” doesn’t sound like a messy middle, but the mess is less literal and more figurative. The mess is mental. It’s deciding which words will illicit the best response, the right reaction, and will make the agent want more. It’s gaining the confidence I need to send my work out to the agents who can make or break me.
These are the problems of the middle—the problems of any middle, when the time constraints aren’t so gallingly close; before the idealism and comfort shrivels into anxiety and stress.
They say the hardest part of any task is the beginning, and that only the difficult things are worth doing. If that’s the case, then I know I’m on the “write” track.
As the authors who came before me know (and the authors who will follow), this is no easy task that I’m embarking on. Writing is my passion, so I will grapple with that raging bull, take it by the horns, and lead it to my destination.